Randumb

Hi this is jacob. I dont think you know me. Maybe you used to know me but not anymore. Im not that much different, its not like i strayed from my life's path and became a different person, I just kind of leaped forward on my little path that defines me. I think I really have developed a lot more as myself. In fact I don't think its much of a stretch to say that I am confident that I have surpassed the limitations created by my age, culture and peers. This makes me different, even though Im the first person to say that basing all decisions on rebellion is futile in the end, and not to mention deceptive not only to others but too yourself. Anyways, yeah, I have been noticing things lately about how little the outside world truly affects me. I may seem to put too much weight behind peoples action and this is true, but the fact that I still exist and can funtion socially and emotionally even through all of the harships I've faced shows me that I can do anything. I am truly thankful for this. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Mom. Thank you, world. What does depress me is how easy it is for others, at frst this evoked anger, envy, jealousy, hatred, fury and frustration but I have discovered that I am the lucky one. I have been PREPARED. fight or flight, ill fight. Sink or swim, Ill fucking swim. I havent had a choice, this necessity is what drives all life, Its what drove the first fish to flop up on land and set in motion the events that led to the evolution of mankind. It seems that this necessity is what pushes life in general and if thats true then I really have had more then my allotment. Whatever. No more complexity, just simplicity.

Renata is my girlfriend. We are really different and it causes some problems. Obviously, not a big deal because we love eachother so much It would take a LOT to get between us. Typically the emotional problems come from her end but it's not really her fault, its just in our nature. Its in my nature to look deeply into all our actions and its in her nature to relax. I think there is beauty in our conflict and idk,

I love her though.

I have a job

I dont want to talk about it.

I like music


big fucking deal
Ive got a LOT more to talk about and maybe Ill remember and post some of it on here
if not why dont you just actually be a friend you lazy bastards.